I am "Miss Communication"!

Yesterday, my family stopped in a tiny little Asian market in Havelock, NC.  I was in desperate need of miso paste, sesame oil, soy sauce, fish sauce, Sriraca Rooster sauce and gochu-jang (Korean red pepper paste).  It's impossible to cook decent Asian food without these ingredients, in my opinion.  My kids want a decent plate of food, so we drove over to the nearest military town.  Nearby was an Okinawan restaurant.  This restaurant used to be owned by a retired US military man and his Okinawan (Japanese) wife, so Wayne wanted to try out his few Japanese phrases.  We stopped for some takeout, and we discovered that the restaurant had been sold to a Chinese couple.  I know this is confusing, but that's the whole point.  Wayne had ordered the food over the phone, and the lady who took the order told him that she was Taiwanese, so he threw out the only phrase that we know in Taiwanese, "Jin ho ja!" - which means "good food".  She didn't really respond.  When he got there, he asked about her background again.  She had only lived in Taiwan for a while.  She was not, in fact, Taiwanese so she didn't understand our brilliant language skills, after all (she was Chinese).  This explained her polite silence and, "Yes, yes."

Immediately after I graduated from college, I headed off to Japan by myself to teach in a group of private schools.  On the airplane there, I sat next to a very kind Korean man.  He asked if I spoke Korean.  No, I didn't.  So he asked if I spoke Japanese.  Well, I had studied for 8 months before I relocated to Japan, so I had a very basic understanding of the language.  Keep in mind, though, that an understanding of syntax is not even remotely near an understanding of the language.  I told the man, "Yes, I understand some Japanese."  He went off into a very long and incomprehensible soliloquy.  I couldn't keep up.  I didn't understand a word he said beyond, "Do you understand Japanese?"  So...I did what my sweet Asian friends might have done to save everyone the embarrassment.  I nodded my head and from time to time said, "Yes."  The ride ended, and I changed planes to head on over to my final destination.  We exchanged business cards.  It was the first time I had the opportunity to use my new cards, so I was very proud of myself.

One month later..... I came home from work and found the man sitting on my from porch.....in Japan.  I was more than confused.  When I got inside, there were multiple messages asking me to call the school office.  I called, and the secretary was trying to figure out what was going on.  Apparently, the man came to the school office and told them that he was my fiance' and that he was there to visit with me.  Everyone in the office knew about my boyfriend (and future husband), Wayne, so everyone was confused!  ...most of all, ME! 

It turns out that the nice man had been talking to me in the airplane about marrying me to obtain a green card.  I had agreed, unknowingly of course, with my silence and head-nodding and interjected "yes-es".  Wow!  Of all the misunderstandings I have ever had, this one proved to be the most magnificent.  I sent the man away and let him know that there was no possibility of this arrangement, whatsoever!  I felt absolutely awful, but he said that he had business in Japan, anyway, so the trip was not a complete loss for him. 

My life has been lived in the shadow of church business, so I have seen the nature of so many exchanges.  It is my very humble opinion that most disagreements within the body of Christ happen because of miscommunication or misunderstanding of motive and intent.  So many people get side-tracked thinking that someone doesn't like them or what they're doing.  Feelings get hurt because we think that we are no longer  appreciated.  We are certain that so-and-so has bonded with that person over there, and that they are now in cahoots against us.  The enemy's main goal is to get us off of our purpose of working together to advance the Kingdom of God by getting us to bicker amongst ourselves, harboring hurt feelings. This same idea applies to friendships and family relationships.  Think of the magnitude of my miscommunication and apply that same out-of-proportion misunderstanding to the issues you've faced with others.  The enemy wants to destroy your fellowship with each other.  If he can confuse our conversations and keep us from growing in communication, he can destroy our fellowship with God.  We will approach communication with God with the same amount of fear and insecurity that we feel with others. 

It is so much more important to please God than to please man.  There is so much value in maintaining godly communication. We need to take care to keep our mouths closed when we aren't sure what should be said.  Proverbs 21:23 says, "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity".  I need to remind myself of this within my home, my friendships, my ministry.  I don't need to fill all empty space with the sound of my own voice.  The same is true when I come before God.  I don't need to feel fear in communicating with Him, but I also need to quit filling all the empty space and let Him talk for a while.  This is the best way to communicate effectively with God.  

 Now...the next time you are on a plane anywhere in Asia, don't smile and nod.  Let them know that you don't understand!  You never know what you might agree to otherwise!